Monday, April 12, 2010



Lately Lauren has taken an interest in doing her own hair.   And mine! The other day she climbed up into the chair I was sitting in and proceeded to twist, pull and yank on my hair in attempts to put it into ponytails.  When I couldn’t stand it any longer, I helped her out. This is the hair-do she had in mind for me.  And for herself, it was an assortment of her favorite barrettes.


She also likes to pick her own outfits.

And accessories.


She’s growing up. Changing right before my eyes. She is becoming more independent. I see her little personality peeking out more all the time. She’s learning to become who God has created her to be.

Independence to a certain degree is good.  It helps us to function in this world. It helps us to step out the door, forge ahead, and not shrivel up in fear.  It helps us explore, seek, and find who we are in this great big place.

But it can also be taken to the extreme.

As a teenager, I desired independence so intensely that I pushed, ignored and blatantly disobeyed my parents.  What’s even worse is that I turned my back on God.  I didn’t want anything to do with Him. In my naive and immature mind He was a nuisance. A big bummer to my free spirited way of thinking.

And so, I went on my way. Did things I wanted to do.  And lived a life that I tried to tell myself was blissfully independent of authority.  I couldn’t wait to get out on my own. To leave my parents and their rules behind.  To do as I wished.  To behave as I chose. 

I married when I was 19.

Life began.

For a while I ignored the prodding of God to come back to Him.  I wasn’t ready.  I didn’t desire to give Him my life.  I wanted to continue being the one in control.  But He wasn’t about to turn His back and let me be.

It took five years and quite a bit of misery for me to see that I was not created to walk independently of God.  He brought me to a place where He was the only One I could cling to in my uncertainty and fear.  I cried out to Him and He pulled me close.

He showed me through the pain and fear he allowed in my life, that He loved me dearly. Yes, He loved me too much to allow me to continue to wander through this life without His guiding hand.  If He hadn’t allowed these near suffocating hardships, I never would have turned my life over to Him. I would have continued to wander about hopeless and independent of a God who desires me to be dependent on Him. 

He wants to carry my heavy load.  He wants me to lean on Him.  He is my fortress, my strong tower. In return he imparts to me a peace because He is in control.

My prayer for my children is that as they grow, change and become more independent of Joel and I, they won’t try to live independently of the Lord, our Savior.  I pray they will choose the Lord’s love and guidance over utter, stark dependence.  I know hardships will come into their lives, but I pray they will hand them over to the Lord.  Taking up His yoke, which is light, instead of try to shoulder their burdens alone.

Independence, a delicate dance between utter aloneness and beautiful, soothing peace. 


  1. Oh I think o this subject often. I want my girls to be independent, but to what degree? Thanks or sharing, and for the great reminder! Hope you had a great weekend!

  2. Your baby girl has beautiful eyes! And her hair looks perfect. Love her accessories too. ;)

  3. OH wow I love those huge blue eyes! I struggle with being independent to the point of stubbornness, PTL He gave me parents who like independence. I have a question... You say you got married at 19, do you think if you could do it over you would have waited? What are your thoughts on marrying young? Just wondering, if you don't want to answer I understand!! I'll check back for an answer here, or you can post at my blog

  4. We all pray for this as out children are growin'. Sometimes a child just has to stretch his wings and break away for God to grab hold and mold him into His child. Sometimes this process takes longer than a Mama wants to wait. I'm needin' some pretty heavy duty knee pads for my daughter to come back to the Lord. I hang on to raise up a child, baby!

    God bless ya and have a marvelous Monday!!!

  5. BK,

    Great questions. I would marry my husband again at 19. We had been dating for 4 years and we were becoming inseparable. We got engaged the day I graduated from high school. I was planning on going away to a college 4 hours away. A month before I was supposed to leave, I knew I couldn't do it. My parents encouraged us to get married. So, 3 months later we held our wedding.

    Getting married young worked for us, but it won't for everyone. So, I can't tell you I am a proponent for young marriage. It really depends on the couple. For some it will work, others it will fail. It is really important to take this issue to the Lord, because He is the one who will guide a couple to know if they should marry young or not.

    I hope this answered your questions. If not feel free to ask more!

  6. Oh, she is absolutely a beautiful girl!

    That is my prayer for my children as well. It's not going to be easy on me to let them go. I just pray God will help me to know when to keep silent, and when to give words of encouragement and wisdom!

  7. Thanks!! I just started "dating" the sweetest guy ever, we have known each other for 7 years and he came and talked to my parents last week... I will graduate in two years, my dad has already told us both that I HAVE to go to one year of college, then we will see what goes from there. So now I have more daydreams ;) Just praying, waiting, be impatient, etc. Thanks for your answer!

  8. Nezzy,
    Great thoughts and very true. I know for each of us to have a desire to serve the Lord we must feel an absolute need to have him be the center of our lives. So, often this can't happen if we don't feel desperate, hurt, afraid or alone. Only then do we, in our human nature, reach out for the one who loves us so dearly, our Creator.

  9. What a beautiful testimony! Thanks so much for sharing with us. The God we serve is amazing. Take care and God bless.

  10. Wonderful post! I couldn't help but think of my own daughter who is constantly telling me, "I wanna do it!" She loves to comb my hair, too. I'm still learning to to depend on God not myself. I think it is definitely a life long process. Thanks for sharing!

  11. Oh, Jenn. This is such a powerful desire. Carole has taught me so much about this in her quiet way.

    I was that girl. I rebelled and pushed like a spoiled, rotten kid. It is not so flattering in your 20s. He is so gracious to wait on us. Isn't that the most loving of all acts? Simply to wait on the one you love. That is what He does.

    We have to sit down some day and chat about all of the things. Again, love your pictures...and your hair.

  12. Love this post! Thanks so much for sharing your heart. Your girl is so cute.

    P.S. I got married at 19 too.

  13. Dear Jenn ~ What a beautiful post! How gracious and loving our Heavenly Father is! What a blessing that HE is your focus now. May the Lord give you wisdom as you seek to raise your children for HIM!! How wonderful that HE promises to give us the wisdom we need (James 1:5)...I rest in that ~ HE is FAITHFUL!! Even when we are not...HE continues to be JUST THE SAME ~ how blessed we are!!

    Have a wonderful week!

    P.S. Cute hair! :)

  14. Thank you for this post. It was wonderful to learn more about you and your heart for family and God. I pray the same thing...I'm learning how to hear God and trust Him as He guides me with my kids. Our fear and hope bundled in the same package, eh?

  15. what a great post!
    thank you for sharing your thoughts today.
    God is good!!

  16. Love her sass! I'll be back to read more later when my miss independent goes off to nighty night!

  17. What a wonderful story. You little girl is too cute and I can remember like it was yesterday being her age and wanting to do my momma's hair all the time. However I got away with doing my dad's hair (he had long hair back then) more often. Fun times. I can also relate to you on so many levels when it comes to being independent and taking some time away from God which only brought me closer to him in the end. I pray that our kids learn to love him and not the independents this world strives for. Thanks for following. I look forward to getting to know you and i'll be following you too :)

  18. Coming back to! You deserve a medal for getting through my whole post. It was long and you, my friend, are a marathon champion! Thank you for always leaving encouraging comments

  19. Great post Jenn!

    She is too cute and she is changing so much!


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