I woke up yesterday morning with an attitude. I allowed it to follow me around for most of the day. Hovering above me, tainting each thought and action. I focused on all the aspects of my life that I felt weren't measuring up to my standards. I wallowed in self pity. I spoke harshly to my children. Let me tell you it wasn't a pretty sight. I am ashamed of how I behaved today. And honestly the only reason why I am sharing this is because I desire to accomplish three things with my blog- 1) to create a journal for my children and future grandchildren, 2) so that I can grow in my relationship with my Heavenly Father and 3) just in case I may be able to share something, about my life, that might impact anyone who should happen to stumble across my blog. All three of these reasons compel me to be honest and open, writing about all aspects of my life not just the pretty, perfect or happy parts.
In the evening, I was able to take a walk down our dirt road. As I pushed Lauren along, I asked the Lord to open my eyes and heart to Him. What I received was a reminder of the blessings He has lovingly given to me. As the cool night air filled my lungs, I began to relax and my eyes and ears took in the beauty around me. I listened to the tree frogs chirping and the distant call of a blue heron. I felt the sun warm on my cheek and the cool breeze ruffle my hair. I watched as my cat Mack sauntered along beside us as if we were on some grand hunting expedition. I watched in awe as the glowing, red, sun turned the drying soybean plants a beautiful bronze. As I took all this in I began thinking of all the other blessings in my life that I take for granted.
- A comfortable home. I don't live in a cardboard shack in the middle of a slum, in a third world country.
- Healthy children. My children aren't fighting any serious illnesses or disease.
- Enough food to eat. We aren't suffering from malnutrition or starving to death.
- A loving husband. I am married to a man who loves me and takes care of my every need.
- Freedom of religion. I am able to pray, read the Bible and worship my Lord and not get persecuted for it.
- A relationship with a loving Savior. I was born into a family that loved God and taught me about Jesus. How blessed I am to know Him as my personal Savior.
How easily I forget all these things when I let my attitude dwell in the dumpster.
"O LORD of hosts, how blessed is the man who trusts in YOU!" Psalm 84:12
"May you be blessed of the LORD, Maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 115:15
"Blessed be the name of the LORD from this time forth and forever." Psalm 113:2
O Lord, help me to remember the blessings in my life. Help me to keep my eyes on you. When I let them wander I become absorbed with myself. Help me to remember to "Lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth." (Psalm 121:1-2) Thank you for loving me even when I am so unlovable. Your love is amazing!