Sleep

Eyes so heavy, lids slowly sinking

covering sleepy chocolate brown eyes

quickly fluttering open, fighting to focus

Gradually descending.

Precious sleep.

Eyelashes, black, long and thick

lying on round, pink, warm cheeks.

Peaceful sleep.

Steady, deep, measured breath,

rise and fall, rise and fall

safe, secure

fast asleep.

Arms enfolding a favorite, well-loved toy

holding close, snuggle deep

a sigh, a twitch

dream-filled sleep.

Covered, protected, wrapped, securely warm

comfortable, safe, cozy

restful sleep.

She Lives

I'm up! I'm mobile! I'm healing!  My face only has two spots with scabs on it and I am no longer a "one-eyed-Pete"! I can finally eat without my mouth hurting and burning and I am now going to go on a Christmas goody binge, because I have to make up for lost time!

Thank you to each of you who left me comments and have been praying for me. I really appreciate it.

We had a very relaxing Christmas.  My parents came over bright and early to watch my children open our presents. Then my brother, his wife and their three boys came over and joined us for a late breakfast of Cinnamon rolls, Carmel Pecan rolls, sausages wrapped in Crescent rolls and slushy frozen fruit salad.

Later we enjoyed dinner over at my mom's and celebrated my sister Katie's birthday. It was a relaxing day spent with family and a treat to watch all of our children filled with excitement of the day.

Now that I am feeling better I am going to use this week off from school to catch up on some cleaning, work on my sadly neglected scrapbook, do some Christmas baking that I didn't get to do and take time to play and enjoy some slow paced days with my children.

My Daddy

 

Whenever my sisters or I got sick when we were little girls, my dad would come home from work with a little gift to help cheer us up.  His tender heart just couldn't stand to see any of his girls hurting.

Today, my dad, after making yet another run to the pharmacy for me, for a medication change, brought me home a gift.   My dear daddy bought me a bird feeder to hang off the Shepard's hook in my front flower garden.  He filled it with seed and hung it up so that I could enjoy watching the birds out my front windows.

He still can't stand to see any of his girls hurting.

I hadn't thought of the little tokens of love he used to bring to us girls when we were down, for years.  Until today.  My dad has the most tender heart I have ever known.  His love for me, my mom and my siblings is amazing.  He is always so willing to help us out, to give all he can.  In the last few days he has driven me to the doctors, because the roads were snowy and I was down to the use of one eye.  He has driven 20 minutes one way to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions, twice.  He has covered me with prayer. And he has lifted his little girl's spirits by buying me a bird feeder.

God knew what a perfect fit my daddy and I would be when he placed me in my parent's care. His love and tenderness are always just what this girl's heart needs.  His love for our family is a close reflection of my heavenly father's love for us all.

Thank you Lord for blessing me with such a compassionate, loving father.

 

 

*Thanks also to my mom who has fixed us a meal, done my laundry, cared for my children and babied me in true mommy fashion.  I love you!

**For any of you who are curious I am on the right in the picture with my dad.

Oh, the neglect

Somehow I have come down with a STRANGE infection. Friday evening my eye started to swell shut, weep and itch. I immediately thought it was a case of pink eye. But when I woke up Saturday not only was my left eye swollen shut, but a small sore I had, had on the left side of my forehead had become infected and grown in size considerably. Next came the chills and achiness, followed by a sore throat. And if I didn't look odd enough with the swollen eye, Sunday evening my lower lip cracked from dryness and by Monday morning it was swollen to double its size with a nasty looking sore.

I look like someone beat me up. My face is quite distorted right now. I won't show pictures because it is a bit gruesome!

I went to the doctor yesterday. He swabbed my throat, said it might be strep. Gave me a prescription and sent me on my way. Now I am waiting to see what the culture says. Today my throat does feel some better and at the present I am not running a fever. However, my face is not healing quite as quickly as I had hoped. It stills looks pretty yucky and I haven't seen any improvement in my eye or lip.

I am missing reading all of your great Christmas posts. Right now I would really like a lap top! So, please don't feel I am neglecting you! I just don't feel up to sitting at my desk as of yet.

Anyway if I am absent from commenting on your posts for a couple of more days you will know why!

First of Forever

It all started on the day you followed me home.

The day when I kept looking back, expecting you to turn your car towards your home.

The day when every time I looked back you were still there.

The day when I was so excited I could barely take a deep breathe.

The day when we sat in your car and talked about everything and nothing for two hours.

The day when I knew my life would never be the same.

The day when I knew you were the one, my soul mate.

The day when I knew my heart was in your hands.

The day that was the first of forever.

It's hard to believe and yet it isn't, that we have been in love for 21 years, married for 17 of those. Our love over the years has changed. It has grown, deepened and settled into a comfortable love, like a warm, soft sweater that envelopes and soothes. There is still the patter of excitement in my heart, but it has slowed into a deep, pulse that is so entwined with yours that nothing will ever separate it.

You are my strength. I know that I can always turn to you. You hold me when I am weak. You encourage me when I am unsure. You ground me and protect me and make me feel secure.

You are my personal comedian. No one can make me laugh like you do. When things look grim, only you can put a smile on my face with your wit and crazy antics. When I am blue, only you can make me giggle, even when I don't want too!

You are my love. There is no one else like you. I gave you my heart 21 years ago. It will always be yours. No one can love me like you do, deep and perfect and true.

As Lauren says, "I want to keep you forever".

From the first of forever to the end of forever, you will be my love.

Happy Anniversary!

I LOVE you!

Princess Progression

When learning to be a princess one must take special care in one's dress.

Start with a pink tutu, it will make you feel extremely girly.

Next pick out your accessories and a matching blouse, top or raincoat.

If your first choice doesn't suit your fancy, continue to pull everything out that may be a possible match. Change your outfits until you come up with the perfect ensemble.

Then twirl, swirl, whirl, spin, sway, sashay, pirouette, and dance, dance, DANCE!

When the Weather Outside is Frightful...

 

This girl hunkers down.

It was a whopping 7 degrees yesterday and the wind was whipping snow tornadoes across our back yard.  I was supposed to take Caleb and Lauren to the doctors office, which, by the way  is an hour away.  I called and canceled.  I love the snow and the beauty of the winter season, but I don't do well in frigid temps.  I suffer from frost bite on my toes(sometime I will share the story on how I came to be the owner of malfunctioning toes) and they turn hideous colors and swell if they get cold.  S-o-o-o, now that you know a bit more about my toes than you wanted to! Anyhoo, all that to say...I won't be going out for the next few days!

Since, I wasn't going to be leaving the confines of my home, while the wind was bending the trees and the snow was swirling across open areas,  I kicked into crafting/cooking mode...

These are the best Peanut Butter cookies EVER!  I remember my grandma always had these or her Soft Molasses cookies in her cookie jar when I was a little girl.  If you would like to see if I'm right about how good they are, I have posted the recipe here.

And since it was so bitter cold what could be better than a big pot of soup and homemade bread to go with it?

While I was at it, I decided to do a little crafting. A few days ago I found the most adorable tutorial for these little birds.

The past couple of days I have been working on them off and on when I get a few spare minutes.  I have decided that these will make wonderful gifts for some special ladies that I know. If you decide to make them here are a few pointers

• pin your pieces as you work around. It will make your hand sewing much easier
• I used fabric glue to adhere the eyes instead of sewing them on, just to save myself a little time.
• If you want to hang your birds like I am doing with some of mine just attach some ribbon at the back of the birds head with fabric glue

And there you have it!

Today, I will be cleaning and candle making and shuffling around my home with slippers, keeping my feet warm as toast.

Have a great weekend!

 

Jenn

A Challenged Heart

 

I wearily sat down on the edge of my bed. Every muscle in my back, legs and feet were protesting. I grumpily thought of all the laundry that still needed to done. I sighed heavily as I pondered on how the house had mysteriously gotten so cluttered when we had hardly spent any time at home over the weekend. I struck up a running commentary in my head on the injustices of doing my household duties while everyone else lounged in front of the television. Then my eyes drifted over to my nightstand and caught these words printed on a card.

To read the rest of my most recent article visit At The Well.

Fear Not

Tears streamed down my son's face as he watched the nurse prepare his arm for the vaccination he was about to receive. He continued a steady moaning of, "I don't want a shot, I don't want a shot". 

And then it was over.

The tears ceased, the words died on his lips, and the fear in his eyes faded away.  In its stead was a look of relief.  A sense of calm took over his little body as every muscle relaxed and his breathing slowed. Slowly a little embarrassed grin tugged at his lips as he realized that the fear he had been harboring in his heart was for naught.

Like my son, when I was a child, I had short bursts of time when I felt fearful.  The grip of fear never lasted for long, though.  I had my mom and dad to soothe away the worry and anxiety.  I had only minor causes that produced fear in me and they never were long lived. I was young and without responsibilities. I was carefree and relied on my loving parents to ease my discomforts.

Life changed.

I grew and became independent. God blessed me with a family of my own.

And then it happened.

I knew fear.

An all consuming fear that I let  control my life. I felt its ugly grip on my heart and mind.  It dictated my every move. At times it almost felt like it was squeezing my life right out of me. It contorted my thoughts and actions. Fear was my constant companion.

What caused the fear isn't important.  It was a series of events some minor, some very major that caused me to be filled with anxiety and worry.  The problem arose when I let it fill my every waking moment.  It began to build and grow like a seething mass. Taking over every aspect of who I was.

And I let it.

I didn't know how to stop it.

So, for years I struggled with it.  Some days were better than others.  Some days I was physically ill from the fear that I let well up inside me.  I would pray and pray, yet still the fear had its grip. Until several years ago when I finally hit bottom, realizing I couldn't live with fear as my constant companion, I cried out to God telling Him, He had all of my trust. I placed Him in control. I laid my heart and soul open to Him giving my Lord every thing, my children, my husband, my family and myself. 

When fear would begin to creep back into my thoughts, when my chest would tighten with anxiety, when my stomach began to twist with uncertainty, I would repeat Isaiah 41:10 over and over until I felt God's peace seep into my soul.

So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you in my righteous right hand.

These days I still seek out verses that speak to me of God's protection and peace.  Most recently I am memorizing Zephaniah 3:17,

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save, He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

The part that grips me is, "he will quiet you with his love".  My heart, my mind and my soul need these words.  They are like balm to a frayed nerve.  How easy I forget that God is my protector, my shield and my fortress.  He is ever with me.  He always loves me.  Even when I doubt his love and protection, by letting my fears consume me.

For the here and now I am concentrating on God's quieting love. 

I am blocking out the craziness. 

I am enveloping myself in the stillness. 

I am seeking out God's love, strength and will for my life.

I am filling my heart with the Lord,

and in the process squeezing fear right out of my life.

When the Garden Dies...

When the weather turns cold and my gardens are shriveled and brown, my hands turn to crafting instead of digging, pruning and watering.

Over the past month I have done a few projects here and there and I have a few more I really would like to accomplish, but so far this is what I've done...

~A poofy, variegated tutu for Lauren.

~A couple more little boy ear flap hats, Christmas stars (you can find the pattern here), crochet flowers to decorate my bulletin board (find pattern here), and a mug cozy for my endless cups of tea and coffee!

~And finally I got around to covering the lampshades in my bedroom.  They were in desperate need of a pick me up!

Now, its on to a few more crochet projects, another covering of a much needed object and finishing of a couple projects I started last spring!

*Thank you so much for the comments you left for me.  I am feeling much better.

 Jenn

Oh and one last picture to show you my new teen who just keeps growing and growing  (I am 5' 6")!

Bye Baby

Where has the time gone?

Your chubby cheeks and dimpled hands have disappeared. In there place are hands the size of mine and a more mature, thinned out face.

Your curls have been replaced with a thick, full head of close cropped hair.

You no longer beg to be held. But, instead look me eye to eye and casually drape your arm around my shoulder.



Gone are the days when you would make me laugh with the crazy nonsensical sentences you would utter. In its place are days filled with conversations on a more adult level and a dry sense of humor that is peeking out more and more.

Gone are the days spent playing tractors and farming. Now you spend more time reading, building with Legos and playing computer games.

You no longer hop, skip and twirl to the music on the CD player. Instead you swoop up your little sister and spin her around and around until you are both to dizzy to stand.

Gone are the days of your little boy voice calling me momma. Instead it is a deepening voice that calls out a simple, "mom".

These are the the days of change.

You are becoming a young man. The time has come for more independence as you begin to seek your way. We are both changing, feeling our way through this unknown territory. But, these are great days. Days that will be full of learning and growing. Days full of deep conversations. Days full of seeking to be the man God desires for you to be.

And all along the way I will be praying for you. I will never be far. I'll be close for those times when you need me. And I'll never forget your chubby arms wrapped tightly around my neck, your nose buried in my hair as you whisper "I love you, momma."

Me, too, baby, me too.



Happy 13th Birthday!