Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Last week, during my visit with my sister, I picked up a book that was sitting on her end table, The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson.  The title had me intrigued so I flipped through the beginning pages. When I got to chapter two I decided to read a bit.  WOW!  I knew as soon as I finished the chapter that God was speaking directly to me through the words on those pages.

You need to serve.

Eight years ago my days were filled.  They were overflowing with caring for three little boys 5 and under.  There wasn’t time in my busy days, saturated with mommy, wife and household duties, for anything but serving those I loved.  I didn’t have a spare minute to crochet. I did have an hour to read a book just for me. And I didn’t have the leisure to plop down on the computer and write.  I spent my days giving and living for my family.  And most days it was a pleasure.

These days my children are more independent their ages range from thirteen to four.  They don’t need me to get them a drink every hour.  They can dress themselves, brush their teeth, do chores.  And I’m not changing diapers or potty training anyone.  In short, I have more free time.

However, what struck me as I read those words that day was that some how I had lost sight of an essential part of motherhood. Some where over the past couple of years I slowly took for granted my “me” time.  Tears came to my eyes and a heavy weight of failure settled in my chest as I realized my mistakes.  My guilt stared at me, glaring and taunting.

I feel I have not served my older boys as I should. I took for granted their growing independence. My eyes and heart became glued to my own desires, on what I wanted for me instead of what was needed by my sons.  I realized I need to ask my boys to forgive me. I need to make spending time with them a priority.  I need to take time to scratch that itchy back, to listen to seemingly endless chatter about cowboys, Legos, and Star Wars, to take that walk back to the fort to see the newest addition. I need to meet more than just their physical every day needs.  Most importantly I need to connect with them. To continue building our relationships, strengthening our bonds, drawing close to them so that as we enter the teen years they will feel able to come to me more freely.

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.  Mark 10:45

Thankfully I have forgiving children. And a Savior who brings to my attention my sins, lovingly forgives, and wipes my slate clean.

Thank you Lord!  I’m ready to serve!


  1. Amen, Jenn!
    I, too, struggle with wanting to do my thing, having my time, having my space. And the world would encourage us in that.
    Thanks for sharing this from your heart.

  2. {teary}...
    I must say that I really needed to read this today...

    Humbly thanking you for sharing your heart on this.

  3. Now this is an AWESOME post Jenn!! LOVE it!! How true it is when their physical needs become less...their emotional needs increase. They continue to need us to mother them, but in a different way. Thanks for sharing your heart today! AND may the LORD give us all the grace to do what HE calls us to in our homes and families. Don't you just love it that they are so forgiving?? God has given us great examples of that in our own children.

    Have a wonderful week!

  4. God has been speaking to me about having a servants heart towards my family too. We all need a good convicting reminder now and then (and sometimes more often) that we are to be servants as Christ was.

    Sally Clarkson is such a good, practical, everyday author. I have her book The Mission of Motherhood. It too is a convicting book. The Ministry of Motherhood is on my wishlist yet as well as others by her and her husband.

  5. This is great Jenn, I soooo struggle with this too. I find the more independent everyone gets the more 'selfish' I become. It just becomes easier to let them do things themselves and me do more things for myself. When people say how 'busy' I must be with so many children, I always point out that they are probably way busier with their 3-4 little children because I really don't have to do much for them. I sort of miss 'having' to do it all. I mean you look forward to when you don't have to be their everything, but the actual serving part was necessary, now it doesn't seem to be and I don't like the choices I often make.

    Now that I am feeling better I don't want to go back to the old way, I want to be 'present' more. Thank you Father, that you are changing me from glory to glory!

    Have a blessed day!

  6. I'm glad the book spoke to you! It can be so hard, for me anyway, to give up what little "me" time I have. I know that investing my time in the kids will produce more joy than a few more measly finished projects!

  7. I know what you mean. Sometimes I get through the day (homeschooling and chores) and think, did we have any fun together? I need to make sure we have fun together every day. Those are the things that make life worth living and that things the kids will remember. Great reminder!

  8. Jenn, you are too funny! I was totally wondering that so I'm glad you cleared that up--hahaha!
    Hope you were able to get all the grime out from underneath your fingernails ;)

  9. I popped onto your blog through Ranch Girls...and read this first post and knew I needed to comment.

    I really, REALLY appreciated your words...they resonated with my heart.

    Praise God for showing us we need to serve, especially when we live in a society that every magazine tells us we need to focus on 'me' time.

    Thanks for sharing what was on you heart, it's a good reminder,



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