Lifting My Eyes

The past few weeks have kept me moving, but amongst all the chaos there was a lesson to be learned.

July 15, 2010

As much as I want to simplify and as much as I have talked about slowing down. I haven’t been able to. It’s still go, go, go and do and do some more, cross another thing off the list and continue to accomplish.

It’s catching up with me. Yesterday, I snapped and snarled at my kids. Several times.

After we got home from VBS last night Joel and I got into a disagreement. It was nothing major, but it left me in tears, just the same.

I’m not a runner. I’m a pacer. I like things at an even keel. These past couple of weeks have shaken up this momma’s nice tidy schedule.  I’m not persevering in this race to well.

With all the craziness and to-do’s I haven’t had much time for my children.  Yesterday, Lauren, received a new Candy Land game.  She was extremely excited to play it. She asked me multiple times to play with her.  I kept putting her off.  The game never got played.

The boys requested help with this and that. I struggled to find time to help. I felt frustration rise because they needed me so much.

As I laid down to sleep last night, I realized the toll this busyness it taking. I dislike it.  Immensely.

But what struck my heart the most, as I laid there with tears and discouragement, was that I have wandered away from the Lord. My mind, my heart and my soul have been preoccupied. I’ve been stumbling through on my own and doing a pretty sorry job of it.  I have been forgetting to “lift up my eyes to the hills from whence does my help come.”  The Lord is my help in times of busyness and in times of tranquility.

I can’t be the momma I want to be when I’m sprinting if I don’t fix my eyes and heart on Jesus.  He alone will give me the peace, patience and endurance required for the busyness. And when the days quiet again and I’m once more pacing at an enjoyable rate, He will give me the insight and wisdom I need to understand and learn from the days I spent racing around the track.

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Looking forward to a slower day today, maybe.

I’ve already tutored my young student, while wrangling a stray dog who insisted on tearing up our turkeys.  I’m dealing with a bit of frustration.  We now have 11 stressed turkeys. One with a broken wing and one missing a chunk of flesh from its breast. I’m praying for patience. And also that our turkey’s won’t die from the stress.  My son has spent the last 45 minutes sweet talking them and offering them lots of water and lettuce from the garden.  He continues to sit with them. He is so concerned for their well being.

I’m continually lifting my eyes today and teaching my children to do the same amidst the angst and frustration.