My youngest son has been sick for a week. My nights have been spent sprawled across the short love seat or bunched up in the chair with my chin on my chest. As soon as he lies down each night he starts to cough. And since he has a reputation for vomiting, I guess you can probably surmise what happens next. To top it all off the girl has decided that rising at midnight is a good thing to do. SIGH!
It’s been a long two months, ladies. Someone or at times multiple someones have been sick. There has literally been no break from this.
Sleep depravation is taking hold.
I’m trying to hold it together, but this momma’s brain is a little flighty anyway. Then when you add in limited hours of sleep it causes havoc. This sleep-numbed brain is struggling! Not too many coherent thoughts are making their presence known. It’s pretty scattered up there! Along with skittering brain function comes a quiet me. I tend to pull within myself when I’m over tired. I’m pretty sure its because many a sentence that exits my mouth is either jumbled beyond interpretation or is has a tinge of the stressed out momma within it.
With a worn out momma comes limited ability to handle stress. Oh, I’m a tryin’, but my chillins’ are a tryin’ me!
I know this is one of those trials. A difficult time that is building my character and dependence on God, I’m just praying my children survive it!
In all honesty, I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately. If I melt down and “lose it” just because I’m functioning on delayed sleep patterns, then what am I teaching my children? I don’t want them to learn it is okay to throw a tizzy when things get tough.
So for the past two months I have been more conscious of my reactions, my behavior and what I am teaching my children during this time of momma trial. God is working on me and if you know me well you know that sickness is a weakness for me. In the past I have not dealt with it well at all. I have let it rule my actions. I have almost become a recluse because I can’t handle the recurring episodes of sickness.
I am, with the help of the Lord, working on this. I feel stronger and more adept at facing the unknown. I know as the cold and flu season progresses I may still struggle with the desire to shut us up tight into the relative safety of our home, but I am praying for strength to bear up under whatever the next 5 or so months bring.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you in my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
*Now if any of this made sense let me know. I proof read it many times, backspace and spell checker helped me. Because I couldn’t remember how to spell some of the simplest words. I literally stared at them for minutes trying to figure out what I did wrong. I couldn’t do it! Oh my brain!