Monday, November 1, 2010

Sleep-Numbed Brain

My youngest son has been sick for a week.  My nights have been spent sprawled across the short love seat or bunched up in the chair with my chin on my chest.  As soon as he lies down each night he starts to cough.  And since he has a reputation for vomiting, I guess you can probably surmise what happens next.  To top it all off the girl has decided that rising at midnight is a good thing to do.  SIGH!

It’s been a long two months, ladies.  Someone or at times multiple someones have been sick.  There has literally been no break from this.

Sleep depravation is taking hold.

I’m trying to hold it together, but this momma’s brain is a little flighty anyway. Then when you add in limited hours of sleep it causes havoc.  This sleep-numbed brain is struggling! Not too many coherent thoughts are making their presence known.  It’s pretty scattered up there!  Along with skittering brain function comes a quiet me.  I tend to pull within myself when I’m over tired.  I’m pretty sure its because many a sentence that exits my mouth is either jumbled beyond interpretation or is has a tinge of the stressed out momma within it.

With a worn out momma  comes limited ability to handle stress. Oh, I’m a tryin’, but my chillins’ are a tryin’ me! 

I know this is one of those trials.  A difficult time that is building my character and dependence on God, I’m just praying my children survive it! 

In all honesty, I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately.  If I melt down and “lose it” just because I’m functioning on delayed sleep patterns, then what am I teaching my children?  I don’t want them to learn it is okay to throw a tizzy when things get tough. 

So for the past two months I have been more conscious of my reactions, my behavior and what I am teaching my children during this time of momma trial.  God is working on me and if you know me well you know that sickness is a weakness for me.  In the past I have not dealt with it well at all.  I have let it rule my actions.  I have almost become a recluse because I can’t handle the recurring episodes of sickness. 

I am, with the help of the Lord, working on this.  I feel stronger and more adept at facing the unknown.  I know as the cold and flu season progresses I may still struggle with the desire to shut us up tight into the relative safety of our home, but I am praying for strength to bear up under whatever the next 5 or so months bring.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you in my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10


*Now if any of this made sense let me know.  I proof read it many times, backspace and spell checker helped me. Because I couldn’t remember how to spell some of the simplest words.  I literally stared at them for minutes trying to figure out what I did wrong.  I couldn’t do it!  Oh my brain!


  1. Sleep deprivation will do that to ya baby!!! My heart and prayers are with ya sweet mama. Nobody said it would be easy did they???

    Take care and try,try,try to get some sleep. (easier said than done)

    God bless ya and have an incredible nights rest sweetie!!!

  2. Ack. Yucky time of year. It's been nothing but loads and loads of snot the last few weeks here. The haze of sleep deprivation? I'll think of you tonight when I'm up with our baby. ;) Strength in numbers, right?

  3. Oh, it made all too much sense. I find that when I'm sleepy, hungry, stressed, etc I get very cranky and short tempered-occasionally I use it as an excuse for bad behavior (mine)...then when I hear my kids doing the same thing (Even my 3 year old will do something naughty and say "But, I'm hungry!!!!") I see it for what it is: an excuse. And not even a good one. Thanks for the reminder. And I hope you get some sleep soon. When my 3 year old was a baby and never slept I used to cry out to God "If you made me to need sleep, why won't you answer my prayers for sleep???" LOL

  4. Praying for you!! Is there anyone from your church or another homeschool family that might be able to lend a hand so that you could sleep for an afternoon? Have you asked family? Let others know of your struggle and maybe they can offer some relief for a bit. Hope your littles get well soon. Remember that this, too, shall pass. :)

  5. Hi Jenn, oh, I am so sorry about the sleep deprivation, I can relate. You are an awesome mama and your heart towards the Lord blesses me. So tender and turned towards HIM!

    Father God, I come to you in the name of Jesus and ask you to bring healing the Jenn's family. Strengthen her, hold her. I pray that all sickness would be gone in Jesus name and for everyone of their immune systems be strengthened, and to function perfectly like you created them from the foundations of the earth. You are a merciful Father, have mercy, I pray. In Jesus name.

    Love you!

  6. Jenn!! Here you are saying all of this of yourself and you send an email asking about me?

    You're amazing. Thank you for your care. You know? You are probably doing a far better "work" then you realize...(I know you would say the same to me) and yet, we're the hardest ones on ourselves. I wish we lived closer that I could help. But... prayers avail much and so that is what I'm/we're doing.

    Get yourself some Vitamin D (5,000units/daily). Seriously. It's been helping me...I've been on it for about 2 weeks (for sure)- and I feel so different.

    Love you...

  7. Dear Jenn ~ So sorry to read this! (I actually read yesterday and didn't comment). Just letting you know that I have been praying for you this morning. Sending you (((hugs))).


  8. Oh sis! Hang in there! I can follow your lead about keeping my cool when I'm so tired! It's easy for me to "let loose" when I'm exhausted and you are definitely right that it teaches our kids nothing! Hope you feel better by this weekend!

  9. Sleep deprivation is no good. Hope your sweet boy is feeling better soon!


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