Re-focusing

Last night I found a blog through my sister's blog it is called For Leslie. Please take a moment to read a couple posts on this blog. This family needs our prayers right now. Leslie, a young mother, just went home to be with her Savior after a long battle with cancer.

After reading a beautiful post from her husband, I was heavy hearted. He wrote so eloquently that I could feel his pain, but also the comfort he felt because his beautiful wife was in the Father's arms no longer suffering. I can't even imagine what he must be going through right now.

I also felt guilty because, I had spent the last part of the day in a funk. Lauren was a handful this weekend and the boys were bickering. Joel had been busy and away from home all weekend. I let all of this bother me and put me in a bad mood. Then I read the blog about Leslie. I was ashamed of my thoughts and behavior. I had been acting like a spoiled brat. I am so blessed but all I could focus on was myself, not the blessings God has given me.

I spent some time in the quiet of the shower praying for Leslie's family. Then I begged the Lord for forgiveness. I asked Him to cleanse my heart from selfishness. I prayed that He would open my eyes and heart so that I can enjoy each moment spent with my children (even the unhappy, crabby, bickering times).

I finished my shower, dressed, brushed my teeth and walked into my bedroom still with a heavy heart, feeling grief for Leslie's family. What I saw brought tears to my eyes. There was Lauren snuggled in my bed. I was a little suprised because I had laid her down to sleep in her bed about an hour earlier. I quickly crossed the room, laid down next to her and swooped her up into my arms. I buried my nose in her hair and thanked the GOOD Lord that I can be a mommy to her and her brothers. I don't want to focus on the negative any more. I want to focus on the blessing of my children and how grateful I am to be their mama.

Please remember to pray for Leslie's husband, young son, and family. Take time to read their blog it will touch your heart and change your outlook on life.