Thursday, March 5, 2009

Beautiful Things

Living on a single income was a choice we made 11 years ago.  It wasn't an easy one, but  was what we felt was best for our family.  Over the years we have learned a great many things.  We have learned to manage our money and live simply.  We have learned that money doesn't buy happiness. And that you really can live on less!

But, there are times like today when I feel the pinch. I have been struggling with back pain for about 4 months.  Today I couldn't stand it any longer, I made an appointment.  It turned out to be an expensive appointment. When I saw the figures and did a mental add up, I felt my heart sink. Then when I found out the my sciatic pain would not be a quick fix I felt anxiety creeping in. Our insurance is not great and won't cover a good portion of the cost.

As I was driving home, I struggled with the weight of the whole ordeal. I know I need to get this taken care of. I am living with an old ladies back and I'm only 35. I need to have back my range of motion and be able go through my days pain free. Yet on the other hand the money issue looms before me.  I slowly allowed a cloud of gloom to shadow my thoughts and feelings.

By the time I got to my parents home to pick up my children I was fighting off tears.  I knew this wasn't a major medical situation and it definitely could be worse, but I had allowed my anxiety over the cost of the whole affair to take hold of me. I had taken matters into my own hands and forgot to just give it to the Lord.  Thankfully He didn't let me wallow in my self-pity for long!  He got a hold of me and placed in front of me a beautiful reminder...

My sweet, little Lauren came up to me as I was wandering the house with my brain all a flutter, and asked if I  would sit down and play the piano with her.  As we settled on the bench, I reached for my song book.  I opened it up and this was the song before my eyes...


Beautiful, beautiful, Jesus is beautiful, and Jesus makes beautiful things in my life.

Carefully touching me, causing my eyes to see, Jesus makes beautiful things of my life.

Words and Music by Dennis Cleveland

I may not know what my Lord has in store for me through this time. But if I allow Him, He will make Beautiful things of my life!


  1. Amen! I understand that devastation when I had no medical insurance while I was pregnant and ready to give birth. God took care of it and I didn't get a bill for anything. He takes care of his own children and does a great job! Put your burdens on him for his shoulders can carry the weight of the world.

  2. How often do we all feel the same way..glad you found that peace.

    It will become harder for single incomes to exist in households because of the rise in everything but hang in there and sing always!

  3. He will take care of His own.
    Phillippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
    Your in our prayers.

  4. I'll be praying for you back to heal, I can certainly sympathize, just this afternoon I have pulled something in my back and it's quite painful. I hope you get some real answers, that's half the battle. Take care :)

  5. OMGoodness!! Where is my kleenex!?

    This was awesome, Jenn! Thank you for this sweet reminder.

    * I love this song. After struggling with infertility for 9 years, thankfully God gave me my little girl. I use to sing this when she was a baby while I fed her during the wee hours.

    Hope your back recovers quickly.

  6. Oh, Jenn! I am in the very same boat as you are! I have an awful old lady's back, too, our insurance doesn't cover much of my chiropractic appts, but I HAVE to go. And it's so rough because we just don't have the finances either. But somehow, the Lord really does provide. I don't know how, but He does. I will definitely be praying for you - I know how miserable it is to be in constant pain, and also to have the worry about finances in the back of your mind. I'm working on giving it all over to Him - sometimes hard for me to do!

    Love you, my friend.

  7. That is such a blessing today-I pray that God fixes your back-I had issues with mine when pregnant, but it always went away...that is the worst pain...

  8. So sorry about your pain. I have have arthritis, so I know what you are going through. I have an appt on the 17th and I heard this Dr will really cost me. I am 35 and shuffle around like an old lady some days too! Maybe we should get together and go to bingo. LOL!
    Can you pay in payments?

    Oh, I need your address 'cause I have a small gift for you. :)
    Email it to me.


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