Weighed Down

The last 24 hours have been transforming. Yesterday afternoon and through the evening freezing rain fell steadily. Joel and I tried to catch a bit of sleep but were kept awake by all the calls the fire departments in our county were receiving.  Around 2 am, Joel’s department got called and he has been at the fire department or on calls for most of the day.  And with the winds picking up it looks like he will be there most of the night, too.

When I woke up this morning, I grabbed my camera and headed outside.  As soon as I stepped outdoors, the sounds sought my attention.

The trees creaked and groaned, stiff with their unyielding coats. The rustling and scraping of ice on ice creating a whole new world.

Burdened and weighed down, not by a protective covering, but by a destructive one, pulling, heavy, cumbersome.

Bending, leaning, falling beneath the cumbersome, unyielding ice.

Some of the trees will survive with only minor natural pruning. Others will succumb to the weight of the ice and crumble to the ground.

The weighted world outside my windows reminds me of my heart.  Lately it has felt heavy, encumbered by life and sin choices. I have been distracted by living.  And I lack the desire to supply the effort it requires to change.

My dry soul…it needs God’s sweet, soothing love to remove the calluses that have built up from my neglect.  It needs God’s protection and strength from the sin I’ve let become imbedded there.  

I have a choice.  I can reach out to God who is holding out His hand to me. I can push forward, through the weight that tries to constrain me. I can look beyond the dryness and be open to the lesson the Lord has for me.  Or I can remain where I am stagnant, in a state of inner barrenness.

Why do I turn away, when I know I just need to seek Him more fervently during these times?  Oh, the turmoil and strife I would relieve myself of if I would quit looking inward and start looking upward.

Like the sun that will eventually free the trees from their temporary bonds, so, the Lord, will free me from my heaviness of heart if I continue to seek Him. His Son can light my way and free the bonds tightening on my heart. In seeking Him I will receive his light and strength which can warm, soothe and strengthen my soul, freeing me from the weight the encompasses and restricts.

I have a choice. I can bend to God’s will and learn. Or I can break and pay the consequences for my unwillingness to yield.

“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of you heart.  I will be found by you, declares the Lord…”  Jeremiah 29:11-14a

I continue to seek my Savior during this time of heart sluggishness.  I know He hasn’t abandoned me, but is trying me!  Will I come out purified or will I come out sullied? 

My heart may be weighed down, but my mind, heart and soul are still seeking my Lord.  In His time He will remove the surrounding weight.  But, in the mean time I will see this weight as His way to bend me to my knees. Submitting, waiting, yielding to my Lord who loves me with an unconditional love.

****It is now snowing.  We have gotten at least 2-3 inches this afternoon with more this evening.  The wind is supposed to pick up with gusts of up to 30 mph.  Everyone around us is without power. We lost ours for about 2 hours this afternoon, but it came back on. It is only a matter of time before we lose it again. So we’re hunkering down in another winter storm. It has a sense of coziness all its own!