Monday, February 21, 2011

Weighed Down

The last 24 hours have been transforming. Yesterday afternoon and through the evening freezing rain fell steadily. Joel and I tried to catch a bit of sleep but were kept awake by all the calls the fire departments in our county were receiving.  Around 2 am, Joel’s department got called and he has been at the fire department or on calls for most of the day.  And with the winds picking up it looks like he will be there most of the night, too.

When I woke up this morning, I grabbed my camera and headed outside.  As soon as I stepped outdoors, the sounds sought my attention.

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The trees creaked and groaned, stiff with their unyielding coats. The rustling and scraping of ice on ice creating a whole new world.

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Burdened and weighed down, not by a protective covering, but by a destructive one, pulling, heavy, cumbersome.

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Bending, leaning, falling beneath the cumbersome, unyielding ice.

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Some of the trees will survive with only minor natural pruning. Others will succumb to the weight of the ice and crumble to the ground.

The weighted world outside my windows reminds me of my heart.  Lately it has felt heavy, encumbered by life and sin choices. I have been distracted by living.  And I lack the desire to supply the effort it requires to change.

My dry soul…it needs God’s sweet, soothing love to remove the calluses that have built up from my neglect.  It needs God’s protection and strength from the sin I’ve let become imbedded there.  

I have a choice.  I can reach out to God who is holding out His hand to me. I can push forward, through the weight that tries to constrain me. I can look beyond the dryness and be open to the lesson the Lord has for me.  Or I can remain where I am stagnant, in a state of inner barrenness.

Why do I turn away, when I know I just need to seek Him more fervently during these times?  Oh, the turmoil and strife I would relieve myself of if I would quit looking inward and start looking upward.

Like the sun that will eventually free the trees from their temporary bonds, so, the Lord, will free me from my heaviness of heart if I continue to seek Him. His Son can light my way and free the bonds tightening on my heart. In seeking Him I will receive his light and strength which can warm, soothe and strengthen my soul, freeing me from the weight the encompasses and restricts.

I have a choice. I can bend to God’s will and learn. Or I can break and pay the consequences for my unwillingness to yield.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of you heart.  I will be found by you, declares the Lord…”  Jeremiah 29:11-14a

I continue to seek my Savior during this time of heart sluggishness.  I know He hasn’t abandoned me, but is trying me!  Will I come out purified or will I come out sullied? 

My heart may be weighed down, but my mind, heart and soul are still seeking my Lord.  In His time He will remove the surrounding weight.  But, in the mean time I will see this weight as His way to bend me to my knees. Submitting, waiting, yielding to my Lord who loves me with an unconditional love.

****It is now snowing.  We have gotten at least 2-3 inches this afternoon with more this evening.  The wind is supposed to pick up with gusts of up to 30 mph.  Everyone around us is without power. We lost ours for about 2 hours this afternoon, but it came back on. It is only a matter of time before we lose it again. So we’re hunkering down in another winter storm. It has a sense of coziness all its own!

14 comments:

  1. Thanks so much for this. :) I've been feeling much the same way lately--burdened down by months of inner battles and scarred by the little fires I've let burn. Maybe we could pray for each other?

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  2. What a beautiful heartfelt post...I see clearly the analogy you shared...I never would have without you, thank you...You have a beautiful heart girl.

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  3. to be able to word those feelings..that is a gift.
    thanks for sharing your thoughts and pix..it's really captivating.

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  4. I've been thinking about you today and will continue to do so.

    May you be safe (especially Joel), this night, and comforted by your Saviour who sustains us in our weaknesses and breaks us down...even in our "strengths". Sometimes we need both.


    Love you.

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  5. absolutely fantastic!!

    fantastic pictures. fantastic writing!

    thanks for putting words to what i am definitely feeling as well. i pray that i am willing to let God "melt" away the hardness around my heart.

    love ya girl!

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  6. I have been there many times in my life. Thank you for your openness. I appreciated your words very much. (Your ice pictures are beautiful!)

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  7. Love ya Jenn. Beautiful pics and beautiful post. Hope you aren't without power too long.

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  8. Dear Jenn ~ What a lovely post! GORGEOUS and AMAZING photos (as always)! The words and thoughts of your heart are beautiful. Yes, may the LORD indeed give us the enabling to yield to HIS work in our hearts. What a blessing that HE does not leave us to ourselves.

    I know what you mean about the coziness of power out and hunkering down in a winter storm. As long as everyone is safe at home and there is food and some way to get warm it is actually a lovely thing. Hang in there and stay warm! Keep close to home.

    In His Love,
    Camille

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  9. This was very good. -Very soothing and calming to read.

    The pictures are amazing!

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  10. Oh my word what beautiful photos. Just think once all this storm passes, you will have a beautiful moist ground ready for planting and green grass, and pretty flowers to shine through:)

    Go make yourself a cup of that hot yummy goodness I've seen photos of here:)

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  11. How beautifully your talent shines through in both your honest words and those spectacular pictures. We have many of those dreaded Ozark ice storms and each and every time it amazes me how much the trees can bend and yet bounce back after the sun shines brightly again.

    Just like us!!!

    God bless you sweetie and enjoy your beautiful day!!!

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  12. Hi Jenn
    Those pictures are simply beautiful. I have never experienced anything like that here, so can only imagine what it is like.
    Thank you for your wise words - I too often have to go & confess to the Lord & find that relief only He can give.
    Have a lovely time all snuggled there - I hope the storm passes quickly.
    Renata:)

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  13. What a great post with use a wonderful use of God's nature in photographs. Thanks

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  14. I swear your photography is out of this world! I am hosting my 3rd Photo Challenge themed VINTAGE. Fun right :] I would LOVE if you participated!
    ~Angel @ www.livinginaperrytale.com

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