Thursday, August 27, 2009

Worn Out

I know, as a rule, I should keep my posts upbeat, but I also think a good dose of honesty is key for helping other mom's see past the facade. So with that said...

I am so tired.

I'm tired of cooking. I'm tired of cleaning.  I'm tired of responsibilities.  I'm tired of trying to keep it all together.

I'm worn out.

I want to sit and hear silence. I want to read a book and not feel guilty about it. I want children who behave like angels. I want a perfectly clean house.

I know it's not a great attitude to hold on to. It can only bring discontent and strife into my life and my family's. Yet, there are days when it just seems to grip me and steal my joy.

That's why I need strength.  I need wisdom.  I need patience.  I need God.

When I face days where I feel devoid of all strength and desire to do what momma's do, I need my Savior.  He alone can fill me up, adjust my attitude, strengthen me, and set me back on the path for another leg of this journey.

I cannot do this alone.  There is too much required of me.  If and when I try to tackle being a mom to my four children on my own, the results are always the same...exhaustion.

Psalm 62:5-6 says,

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

I claim this verse and repeat it over and over. When I am weary, overloaded, stressed, angry or sad this verse supplies hope.  I am not alone.  God is with me even on the days when I am desiring to be anything but a momma.

When I take the time to focus on God and his strength, I find that I am less weary, more content and less likely to wish I had a different vocation! 

God is the light I reach for on those dark days.  How about you?

18 comments:

  1. I love honesty. Thank you for sharing it. You are in my prayers, today.

    -TJK

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  2. Take a break, soak in some Jesus time and He will relight the spark that enables you to do all you have to do. I love your honesty and girl believe me your not alone. You are in my prayers today. Have a wonderful one!!!

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  3. sounds like you need a night out with the girlfriends to refresh yourself...maybe a pedicure outing!

    best wishes and big hugs~
    chasity

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  4. Thank you for your honesty Jenny. I had this day yesterday and it just got worse into the evening. You are right...we cannot do it alone...only in our God can we find strength and hope. Hang on to Him and it will be better! I will pray you have a little relaxation today. Take care.

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  5. Jenn,
    I can so totally relate to the feeling of being worn out. God is really working on me with the issue of balancing rest and work. I'm trying to find a good balance of doing all that I need to get done in a given day but still get the rest I need. I saw one of your tweets I think last night talking about so little time, so much to do, and you'd just rather be sleeping. I talked about my struggle with balancing work and rest on my blog on Tuesday. And I began a discussion of it on my ministry Facebook page. I'd love for you to stop by the discussion and add your thoughts in. There are many of us out there that struggle with this. And something that has helped you may help someone else. Here's the link:

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Truth-and-Grace-Ministries/121585132854

    And here's the link to the post on balancing work and rest if you'd like to read that and offer your thoughts.

    http://truthngraceministries.blogspot.com/2009/08/reflections-on-gods-word_23.html

    Finding this balance of getting things done but getting a good night's rest is really hard for me right now. There's so much to get done. Where is the balance???? My body needs rest. God has shown me Psalm 127:1-2 and He's helping me learn the concepts found in this verse that I need rest. Staying up late and getting up early will not cut it on the long haul.

    Anyway, this is a pretty long comment so I'll close. Hope you'll stop by both the discussion & post and offer your thoughts.

    Take care,
    Karen

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  6. I certainly could have used that verse last night. Read my latest thanful thursdays post for that nightmare. I often feel the same way you do at times, and God is the only thing that brings me out of it as well. I too know I should not allow myself to feel those selfish thoughts, but I'm human, and I too have my flesh to fight. I am thankful though when I can pray and praise God for all He has done for me and all He is and then claim the victory that He has already provided.

    When I am really down, or frustrated, that is my favorite thing to do...Just start prasing Him for everything I can think of. I even go right down to being thankful for my icemaker, my pillow, my microwave, my dishwasher, my laundry room not being outside or in a basement anymore...everything I can think of. Nothing is too small and before you know it, I feel much better.

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  7. honesty!! wouldn't want it any other way.

    what do i do on those dark days? some days i just have a good cry. like you, i end up going to God and His Word.

    please do not take this as a slam because i do not intend it that way at ALL. since my illness i've noticed that the things that used to make me weary and overwhelmed don't hold the same power any more. if i even begin to feel discontent about having to drive a kid, clean a toilet, discipline...i remind myself of the blessing.

    does it work every time? NO WAY...especially with teens-ha!

    love ya and praying that God blesses you for being such a bright light in your family and to the rest of us.

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  8. I'm with you girl. I don't know what's been with this week, but I just can't wait for it to be over!

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  9. Thanks for sharing! I think we all are in this place now & then. Hang in there, lady!

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  10. It is so vital to be honest with each other! I totally get where you are coming from my friend. I feel exactly like this more often than I would like. It is horrible to feel ruled by emotions and feelings, yet women inevitably are. I love how you have claimed these verses and pray that you feel strength regained over the coming days.
    Love Collette xxxx

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  11. Yep!! See how your honesty brings on more comments! :) I had to keep scrolling and scrolling to get to the bottom.

    Yes, I know I can relate, as well. SAHM, Homeschool mom, blah blah... ya definitely get weary.

    -- and I only have 2 children. :)

    ((hugs))

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  12. I understand completely how you are feeling...but the best thing is to be aware of how I am feeling, sit down with God ~ He is all powerful but also so understanding ~ most of the time HE speaks to me and tells me that I should just be still and the rest, well the rest will just have to wait!

    "When I take the time to focus on God and his strength, I find that I am less weary, more content and less likely to wish I had a different vocation!" - You are exactly where HE wants you to be ;)

    May the Lord continue to give you the strength to continue on this beautiful journey,

    lady m

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  13. Hey sis! I thought you sounded tired when I spoke to you on the phone. If you want to talk give me a call! Today I read Psalm 18:30-35. If you get a minute to read it I hope it will encourage you! His power is made available to us! I love how is says,.."your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great." Hang in there!!!! Love ya!

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  14. I know sometimes with the back to school schedule I feel the same way. I have home schooled for 19 years!
    This too shall pass~they will be gone soon. So ~relax let the work go and cherish the moments.
    Blessings~
    Carrie

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  15. Lord teach us to wear your easy yoke, as we lay our heavy burdens down to your care. Lead us beside your still waters Jesus.

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  16. Even with just one little one - sometimes I am just so TIRED of the everyday things. And like you said - I know it's not a good attitiude to have, but I just don't want to make one more lunch...or fold one more basket of laundry....or mop one more floor.
    I just want to sit and read and soak in some silence. So thankful that God is our strength, 'cause I can't do it by myself.

    And also....my best friend and I have started trading off a couple of times a month, watching each others' kids so that we can get out for just a few hours during the day. I don't know if something like that would work for you - I know that if I lived anywhere near you I'd come watch your kiddos in a heartbeat so you could get out and have a little mommy time. I know that it's important to have some moments of refreshing just for ourselves.

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  17. So, I'm not alone?? ;-) thanks for sharing your heart!

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