The clock on the wall murmurs its steady rhythm. The dishwasher swishes and rumbles. Sneakers, sis’ kitty, sits in my lap vibrating ever so gently with his soothing purr. Lights from the Christmas tree send a steady glow of warm, cheery light throughout the room.
It’s past 11:00. Darkness and quiet prevail. It’s Friday night and just kitty and I are awake. He wants to play. I want to type. I’m not sure who’s winning, but it might be him!
I cherish these hours when all is peaceful and still. It’s in these moments I recount my day. It is during this time of soothing quietness I remember why I cherish being a mom.
During the rush of the day, when my name is called at least a hundred times, I can get frazzled. I don’t mean to. I don’t want to. But sometimes I do. Sometimes having them all home all the time can be so difficult. Those days, when nothing seems to go right. When there is fighting between brothers. And whining coming from discontent little people. Those are the times I feel hunched over with failure. I begin to question my ability. I begin to question my desire to to this mom job.
But, in the hush of the night the Lord graces me with His wisdom. These children, the very ones, who can be sweet as sugar one moment and in the space of a breath terrible stinkers the next, are gifts. He reminds me to be thankful for the hard, irritating, life-consuming times. It is growing us all. In the midst of these trials I tend to forget that these are learning moments for us all. My viewpoint is on the present. My focus zeros in on how rotten my kids can be at times and how it seems I am failing to make a difference in their behavior.
Thankfully, in the still of the night, the Lord opens my mind. He shows me what I need to do. First, I need to pray fervently for each of my children daily. Second, I need to set a good example with my words and actions. Third, I need to be consistent.
Oh, this sweet time of quiet and contemplation, when my children are peaceful, slumbering with sweet dreams and gentle expressions gracing their faces. I am thankful for the reminder from my Lord that YES, I am able to do this. Yes, He will guide me on my mommyhood path. Yes, I have wonderful, beautiful children who only sometimes morph into freaky little monsters.
Yes, there is hope for my children and His name is Jesus!
*****This post was in my drafts started on 12/17/10…finished this morning when I was graced with a smidge of inspiration on how to finish it!
I've had the very same thoughts (a similar post brewing) ... but YOU say it so much better. Do you want to guest post?? haha
ReplyDeleteThere are many days when I say "I can't do this anymore" and I stop there with "No, you can't..." rather then hearing the rest of the words "but, you CAN with Christ".
Thanks once again, Jenn, for your insight, your honesty and your humility to share this and I know you're praying. ;)
What a beautiful photo. I have always dreamed of capturing that wonderful night and moon. I love the blues with the white moon. So beautiful Jenn!
ReplyDeleteYes, thank the LORD for those quiet, still moments. It's good for a mamas soul to get that peace sometimes that passes all understanding.
A {{so}} relatable (is that a word?) Great post!!!
Thanks Jenn for thar poignant reminder and encouragement. Even after 23 years of mothering-or especially after 23 years-a woman gets weary. But the scripture admonishes us to not grow weary in well doing. And mothering IS well doing. Bless you.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I think God nudges in these hours 'cause He knows we need this 'quiet' time.
ReplyDeleteGod bless ya sweetie and have a fantastic day!!! :o)
Yup, I'm right there with ya! It's been interesting becoming a family of 5. Mom has been deemed the "bad guy" and definitely have had a few trying days... not to mention housework feels like it's on permanent hold. I know we'll adjust, eventually :)
ReplyDeleteAmen, sister. What a beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and knowing what is in the hearts of us all. I think one of the most important parts of this post is that YOU are listening to God's voice. I think that is so important. How can we know what He is saying if we are too busy trying to do it all ourselves. Keep listening. God bless.
ReplyDeleteOh how true...we NEED the LORD each step of the way and it is HE that we want to do the work in their hearts too. How WONDERFUL that HE will complete what HE begins!! You do write beautifully my friend...it is a blessing to visit here. :)
ReplyDeleteLove,
Camille
I'm not sure that I told you Jenn, but I posted your blog on my blog because I just love your photography and the way you write. This one about night time when all little ones are tucked in bed made me smile. Please come visit my blog and see the nice things I wrote about you a few entries ago.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.upliftyourspirit.blogspot.com
Wonderful post! Love the photo too.
ReplyDeleteJenn-Just what I needed. I have had a very frazzled week. And I forget to think about the eternity thing...I get so caught up in the moment. Thanks for the reminder. :)
ReplyDelete