Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I knew

Today I felt the pressures of life looming before me. I felt them mounting a tirade and placing their heavy boot of oppression on my chest.  The day became overbearing. Thoughts of days to come with all their uncertainties and demands pulled me down.

I was hanging laundry on the line running through my list and all the “what if’s” in my head, when I realized I was trying to order my days.  Days that hadn’t even come to be.  I was borrowing trouble.  I was taking control.

Right then and there I took a moment.  I went over to one of my favorite sitting rocks and sunk down to rest.

I closed my eyes and sat.  I bowed my head and whispered one word, “Help!” 

It was then that I felt it.  God’s bright sun warming my back. 


And I heard it.  God’s birds singing praises to Him. 


And I smelled it. God’s fresh, invigorating spring wind. 

bleeding heart-w 

And I knew.  I knew He was with me.  I knew He had taken my burdens. I knew He was in control. And I knew how much He loved me.

Why is it I always snatch back control of my minutes, my days, my weeks, my future?  In these moments of self reliance I turn my gaze away from the very One I am seeking.  I place importance on my ability. I become my own god.  In writing, plain black and white, those words tear at my heart.  Am I so bold as to think I can do all and be all without falling in messy heap?  When stress lays heavy on me, if I truly have my heart aligned with God’s, I should cling to Him more readily.  He is the One I can depend on.  He has ordered my days already. He is my strength, my fortress, my refuge.  He has control of all of my “What If’s”.

Today God reminded me through the beauty of His earth, just how much He loves and cares for me. He knows.  And just knowing that eases my heartache.

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”  Psalm 34:4-5


  1. I'm a trouble borrower too. Thanks for the reminder that God is in control! PS Love the pic of the Bleeding Hearts!

  2. Keep giving it over to Him, Jenn! Glad you caught it early before your day was consumed with your worries. Love you!

  3. Thank you for sharin' your beautiful thoughts and those stunnin' pictures.

    Why are we so very brain dead when it comes to God. We struggle and try to take care of thing ourselves when all we need to do is to look to our Maker. He's always there, waitin' to answer.

    God bless you sweetie and keep the warmth of that sunshine and carry it with you today! :o)

  4. Lovely and oh so true, Jenn.
    Thank you.

  5. Borrowing trouble.

    Taking control.

    ...things I am "all too familiar with"...

    I know.
    Oh I know.

    I had a moment like this last week. I couldn't sleep and I got up in the middle of the night. One of the SIX pee breaks I take you know;)

    And began just reading God's word oh the things he spoke to me that night.

    It's a darn tootin' shame we live so far away. I'm afraid if we sat down for a little chat over coffee it would turn into days,

  6. you are such a wise thing for a young
    whipper snapper!

    such radiance.

  7. Oh I enjoy your words, they ring so true to my heart...hubby and I just had a conversation about this tonight, letting go and letting God....letting go is so tough at times, but when we do, life is so much better.

  8. Oh Jen, what a talent you have!! The pictures are soo good.

    And you are right... God's love is VERY evident.

  9. Beautiful! I know that very place all too well. Thanks for the reminder to let go and seek Him first.

  10. We all tend to do that don't we? Beautifully said.

  11. Another lovely post my friend. :)


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